It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Except it's not for some people really.

If I think about the holidays and all that it brings and does to us I reckon we can at least all agree it's a pressure inflated, stressful and emotionally enhancing time of the year.

I mean, even if you aren't struggling too much you still pile ridiculous pressure on yourself. Did I buy enough? What food do we need? I cant get that present she wants, the inbound inlaws, uncle nob head visiting, i'm going to be paying this off for months, and least of all the queues all the stores.

Hopefully these pressures though are countered by your emotional enhancements full of love and excitement for the future an all the great things the new year brings.

Genuinely I hope that is you.

But for some of you I know that its not.

For some I imagine those pressures are so intense its probably breaking your heart. For some of you the emotional pressures are so overwhelming you just want to hide away and curl up into a ball.

I've not been so terrified of Christmas this year. Putting up decorations and all our family decorations was tough but there were smiles at memories too. We are in a new house and we can make new traditions and memories. I'm not sure how it's going to go. I hope it will be fine but the over charged emotions sure as hell pull at you.

If I've learned anything at all about dealing with super charged times of year its to take care of yourself. Take your time outs when you need them. Think about what you want. Others are important but you cant help others if you don't take care of yourself. There is no script for this time of year, just listen to yourself. If going for a walk works for you, do it. You want that extra packet of Pringles, go for it. Want to listen to a song, do it. An extra drink, go ahead.

If you are emotionally struggling then try not to put extra pressures on yourself. The number of presents honestly doesn't matter. The perfect dinner doesn't matter. Just take care of yourself first and foremost. Put yourself first, listen to yourself and do what you need to do. Be extra specially kind to yourself first. I'm sure that is what your loved ones would want more than anything else.

Perfect isn't what we conjure up in our heads, that ain't reality. If I think of Christmases past I don't remember dinners or too many presents (sorry Mum and Dad). Before Hannah dying all my Christmases hold happy memories. That's just down to the people I was with, people I shared it with. All those memories just go straight in the happy thoughts bucket. 'Stuff' doesn't come into it. I'm lucky in that respect.

For people not struggling and especially those of you on a positive high be kind to everyone else. You know someone who has suffered a recent loss then check in on them. If you can spare a few extra items of food go donate to a food bank. Volunteer time if you can. Even simple smiles and politeness in stores can be important. Take an extra toy to the local childrens Hospital. Just be kind. You'll feel good for it and to someone on the receiving end it will mean the world.

Two years ago we were in Hospital right up to Christmas Eve and then back again a few days later. There are families there right now.

Last year was tough and there were tears and frustrations and the emotions got on top of us.

This year I want it to be better. I don't want to end up hating this time of year. I don't want to dread Christmas day and I don't want to avoid it. Hannah wouldn't want that and most of all Nora doesn't deserve that.

So, I'm going to take care of myself. I'm going to ignore the pressures. I'm not going to worry over 'stuff'. I'm going to be kind to myself. Then I can be the best version of myself to be extra kind to others. Especially my Girls.

Wherever you are and who ever you are with, take care in the days ahead, I wish you all the very best.